Been working so long to qualify...

All the other pre-nursing girls have been fidgety for two weeks. I haven't been. Tomorrow if the last day they officially decide. I thought of checking my email a few times, though I knew no letter would be there yet (if they chose to use that medium.) Not sure if I'm anxious to know if I got in, just anxious to know the decision. It's a subtle difference I'm not sure I can explain. I think I'll be excited if I get in, but it's been so long thinking about it (years?) I'm not sure I'll be disappointed if I don't... Feels weird.

I did poke around at shoes on the net, telling myself if I got in I'd treat myself to some comfy though less-than-pretty nursing shoes. My cousin has a scrubs pattern, thought of getting that from her earlier this week, but didn't cause I might not need it. I'm not sure where I am in this.

Cause I can't yell at them..

I'm hot, wearing a polyester uniform missing all but two shirt buttons, working two 16hr shifts back to back and trying to do my gorram job. I don't CARE if you used to live here. I don't CARE if you know the first three digits of the gatehouse phone number. I don’t CARE that you have frozen food in the back. I'M trying to do MY job, which is screen these people's guests, and if YOU didn't make prior arrangements this is not my problem. I'm trying to help you ANYWAY.

I CALLED the number you gave me, which could be anyone. So while I'm grilling this person to make sure he's who I need him to be to finagle YOU inside, how about you not gripe and moan eh? I don’t need to let you in. I can turn your grumpy ass around and make HIM, who IS on the guest list, come down and escort you in. But I'm not doing that, am I? No, I'm trying to help you. So how about you smile, wait patiently, and be thankful that someone isn't cutting corners and letting just anyone in here.

5/5 Swallowing Darkness (Gentry 07) Laurell K Hamilton

I loved it. While some Merry books I could take or leave, this one was amazing. They were all so real, I giggled, my heart race, I CRIED (and I don't do that...) I am comfortable in saying this is my favorite of the Merry Gentry series. I'd actually become upset at LKH as I like Anita less and less when at first I loved her. Now, they seem reversed. This is so well written, so engaging! The battles, the emotions, everything crystal, I love it. I just do.
*Also, kudos to Claudia Black, reader of the audiobook, for embodying the characters so well and giving them each their own distinct sound. So many can't do that.

Sleep Challenge, Week 2 COMPLETE

From my SparkPeople blog!

I've always had such a hard time 'waking up' in the morning, driving to school groggy, fumbling through classes, living on caffeine. Since I've gone to bed an hour earlier, to wake up an hour earlier (match hubby's up time, so no more multiple harsh wake ups from his snooze button!), stopped pounding water before bed (no more midnight potty breaks!), and used my new morning time to do 10mins of sun Salutations, I'm way more awake in the mornings. I haven't missed breakfast yet, and while I'm tired at the SAME TIME I always was (10-11pm) I'm not forcing myself to stay up til midnight or later, staring at the computer screen and accomplishing nothing, JUST to 'get in my free time'. The only thing I've lost time on so far is World of Warcraft, which was my way to have free time. I'm findin NEW 'me time' by popping in audiobooks on my 20mile drive to and from school. :) So far, there are way more smilies in my daily log than there used to be! I'm checking off week 2!

Still writing in my sleep log, and all the other 'habits' have become natural. I can't wait to see what week 3 has!

Mmm Carrots

There's a family at work that always stops on their way in and out of the estate, so their children can wave and yell hello or goodbye. They're terribly cute. Today when they came by I was munching on a carrot, trying to hide it from most visitors. For them, however, I kept it visible as I knew they would ask, and did.
'Why are you eating a carrot?' They both asked.
'Because they're delicious! Carrots are one of my favorite snacks!' I took another bite and smiled at them.

Yes... let them learn that carrots are snacks... not evil vegetable side dishes but delicious snacks... MUWAHAHAHAHA! Ahem, no really. Teach them young, to eat the skin and all, on all their veggies. Except turnips. That would just be masochistic.

RE. Adjustment of test 2 grades..

(This goes to my professor as soon as I get home. And if she refuses to change it, it goes to the head of the math department. Her 'adjustment' is outrageous, and can be read at the bottom if you're behind.)

Professor,
This adjustment is unfair; please allow me to demonstrate why.
First: I, and everyone else who worked hard, studied, came prepared, and did well (considering the average) deserve our grades. Mine was an 83%, lower than I hoped, but acceptable. Those who did not study, those whom even You chastised for not completing (or attempting) the homework until the night before the test, those who blatently announce in the test room to the back back row that they need someone to cheat from, they also deserve the grades they got. We were all informed, before Exam 1, that there would be no curve and no retakes.
Second: The self-limiting 'curve' set in place ONLY benefits those who did poorly. In fact, the more poorly one did the more it benefits them. Assume the class average represents Student A who got 57% on Exam 2, and that Student B got an 83% on Exam 2.  Assume that for the next three Exams, both students achieved 85%.
For Student A, when half the difference of Exam 3 (85%) and Exam 2 (57%) is added to Exam 2, (85-57=28. 28/2=14) Student A now has a 71. Student A now passes with two letter grades higher than they earned.
For Student B, the same steps, (85-83=2. 2/2=1) Student B gains 1percent and now has an 84. Student B's letter grade does not change.
Continuing with Exams 3 and 4, as proposed, continue to add many percentage points to Student A while giving Student B only a fraction of a point, resulting in Student A ended with 81.5%, and Student B an 84.75%. Student B did not benefit at ALL from this proposed adjustment. Even Student C, who only achieved 05% on Exam 2 receives a 73.75% after this adjustment. This is in no way fair to the students who actually worked for their grades.
Repurcussions: I am waiting for acceptance into the BSN, Bachelors of Nursing, which is a competitive program where entry is determined by grades. My grades must be higher than another student's for me to get slot we both want. If Student A is GIVEN 24.5%, simply because they did poorly, Student B now risks losing her Nursing slot to a student to failed where she succeeded. This is unfair.
You mentioned in class that as a teacher one wants to help students. Helping a student to pass by simply changing a failing grade to a passing grade, does not help the student; it hurts the students who did pass.
You mentioned that a good student could raise their grade to over 100%, but as we see from the self limiting nature of this adjustment that this is impossible. Starting with an 83%, if I get 100% on the next three tests, Test 2 has a maximum of 97.88%.
You also mentioned that simply giving EVERY student 10% would not be fair. I disagree! Giving every student 10% allows you to raise their failing grades, while raising the passing grade accordingly, to preserve the natural grade curve.
One cannot favor one student over another. Grading must be fair, and equal, and everyone MUST be graded with the same rule, or the point of testing and grades and the entire learning process is devalued.
I urge you to recall this unfair adjustement, which benefits those those who fail and injures those who pass.
Adding 10% to EVERYONE is fair.
Dropping the lowest grade for EVERYONE is fair.
This adjustment is not.
A very concerned Student B.
Janna A. Kepley
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: College Algebra Professor <***@fau.edu>
Date: Feb 17, 2011 5:38 PM
Subject: Adjustment of test 2 grades..read please!
To: Students of College Algebra, FAU 2011.
Hi students,
Adjustment of Test 2 Grades:
Test 2 grades were generally poor and, we feel, due to a failure by many to prepare properly by doing the associated MyMathLab homework. You will have the opportunity to raise this Test 2 grade by doing better on the next four tests.
If your Test 3 grade exceeds your Test 2 grade, your Test 2 grade will be adjusted by adding half the difference to your current Test 2 grade. Further, if any subsequent Test grade exceeds your adjusted Test 2 grade, again half the difference will be added to your Test 2 grade.
For example:
If one's Test 2 grade was 54, but one's Test 3 grade is 80, the Test 2 grade is adjusted to 54+13 = 67;
furthermore: if one's Test 4 grade is 81, the Test 2 grade is further adjusted to be 67+7 = 74;
furthermore: if one's Test 5 grade is 82, the Test 2 grade is further adjusted to be 74+4 = 78
and finally: if one's Test 5 grade is 82, the Test 2 grade is further adjusted to be 78+2 = 80
You can thus increase your Test 2 grade step by step until it no longer hurts your average
Ms *.

Lyon's Pride, McCaffrey. 2/5.

Lyon's Pride (Rowan 4) - Anne McCaffrey. 2/5...
I'm pretty sure I finished this book only because I started it AND I'd read the previous three AND I think it's the last book in the series. It's just all over the place... Maybe it's too many characters, maybe it's the long lulls that slam into one page of action and then drop off into another long lull. I didn't WANT to finish it or know what happens. It was a good skeleton, but someone forgot to flesh it out with interestingness.

110213 The Spark: Ch01. MY Story.

So I finally found a copy of The Spark, the book that goes with the site I use SparkPeople.com. I've used the site for years, off and on. They're also about goals and self-image, not just weight. Since I could use a little kick in the pants for all of the above, I'm going to do as the book says. Which includes journal entries. So, I'll break the pages down so you don't have to scroll through the wall of txt :)

Badges? We don't need no steenkin BADGES!

So, I've come to the realization that I am a badge hound.
No really, I JUST came to it. I would joke about it, but seriously...

I think it started with Bolt, or that's earlier incarnation of it on a mass scale that I can recall. It reminds me of collecting stickers, but they're pixels and you did odd free things to achieve them. There were tons of people on it, guides on how to get em, and people willing to cheat and pay real world money for them. I had a lot, and when it seemed to be a failing empire I tried to save each pixelated badge to host up at my webpage, so I wouldn't lose them.

I've done it a variety of other places on smaller scales, and usually given up.

I collect patches from places we hike, camp, visit... Pins when they don't have patches (how does DisneyWorld not have a patch?) I even wanted to make a digital map so I could 'pin' the places I visited, and mark cool graveyards etc.

I was tempted to become the oldest gd girl scout in order to earn those badges. I was a girl scout for three weeks. We ate cookies, hung out in a daycare, and swung on the swings. We moved, and it just didn't interest me to seek out another troop. Day care is boring, I wanted to tie knots and climb trees.

I got Gowalla for my phone so I could easily check in along my route to see my grandparents one looong lonely drive. It's kinda neat, but doesn't have a lot of locations near me that aren't fast food. Each little check in awarded me a badge and a prize. I found FourSquare... badges. More badges. I caught myself 'checking in' at college in BOTH applications! Here's a kicker... I don't particularly like being tracked, or bad people knowing where I am all the time. Dad taught me to value anonymity and invisiblity. (Well, much as I can when I like to wear cat-ears.) Yet I'm posting WHERE I AM to anyone and everyone. Squidgy.....

How to reconcile some strange need for badges, patches, 'achievements', pins, stickers, etc, without being (any more) foolish? I dream of living simply... how do you do that and 'collect'? Is there a cure? Can I complete a 12 Step Program?  ...Will they issue me a pin or coin or certificate? >.>

110207 LowIQ + Chemistry Class = DANGER!

In ChemLab we did our first real experiment: Determine as unknown, by determining its boiling point and density. Pretty okay, but there weren't enough hotplates so some had to be shared. Our neighbors are mentally deficient for science students and bothered us and the others around almost constantly, with questions, asking to see the figures of groups with the same Unknown, and so on. They asked us how much of this to add; where do we get the tap water; we have to use clamps?; where do we get clamps?; and... so.. on... case in point: at the end of the class they held up the pipeter and asked what it was for.

110208 Spark PT and so much homework.

I took the day off.
Off of homework, the gym, pretty much everything.

I started my day trying to pack in EVERYTHING I feel I don't get to complete: I ran a load of laundry, put away the previous load, hung the load once it was washed. I finished our taxes (my old W2 finally arrived!) and had to print it (e-file not avail to us.) I prepared the Faerie Kougra to be shipped to Alaska, as someone bought it. I honestly hoped no one would... I filled out the affidavit to claim the elliptical machine I won. I did this all before breakfast or a shower.

After that was done we lazed around a tad, hit the UPS to drop off all the above to be mailed, then took Rook to the Dog Park. She's been kind of stiffed lately, between rainy or overcast days and the business of her humans. We ran her, let her run off the other dogs, and in the end had to protect her poor pretty tail from a big Husky Wolf mix who felt the need to dominate the only dog near his size. Don't worry, she's never been mounted and I plan to keep it that way.

We planned on the gym, but never went. After we brought Rook home we sat around a bit, I dropped myself into internet oblivion. I actually logged onto WoW! Shane did the same, getting his PVP fix, and I did my SW dailies and actually ventured out of the city! I Arche'd enough to finish my Raptor Mount and Dwarven Gnome Bot! I did it around some web 'dailies' I do when I remember: a few contest pages and free sample site I poke into. Hell why not, it won me an Elliptical machine :P

Someone invited me to a Spark Group of theirs, 'Quickfire'. I'm in one like it, encouraging a person to do a ten minute cardio video 5 days a week. I like it because it's a small amount of time, which seems very doable. (This is the same as the FlyLady theme... "15 minute declutters..." I wonder if there's something to that. Hehe maybe it just shows I cannot commit to anything longer!) Anyway, the Quickfire team will post an exercise each day that can be done anywhere, though you may look silly Shadow Boxing in the grocery store. Do 3/10, and they challenge you do to 100 total by the end of the day. So, every 2 hours or so, take a breather break and do the leg lifts, or whatever. I dig it. I'm at 3x3/10 on the Boxer so far today. :) I like it, so I joined up. It made me realize I still haven't read the book... so I checked my local library now that I have a card and they have it! Placed it on hold.

I knew I'd have to pay for the laziness of the day, but I'm happy with it.

I won an elliptical machine, for drinking beer!!

So... Michelob ULTRA sent me a letter today saying I won the LiveSTRONG Elliptical Machine (linked), after entering their 'Resolutions Revolution' sweepstakes! I signed my affidavit, mailed it, and now just wait for them to help me get unfat closer to home. *Or... burn off calories so I can drink more Mich Ultra! GLEE!! Have you tried their HoneyWheat? You really need to :D

The LS10.0e.

110205 ''I'm not on the list?', it's my mom!'

'What do you mean 'I'm not on the list', it's my mom!'
'I apologize, but since it's your mom you don't want us to just let anybody in.'
'It's my mom!'
'I'm sorry; I have no way to prove that and you have a different last name.' *Please note being related does NOT get you through the gate.
'You're the only one who gives me this problem (*OH I love that line.) Everybody knows me! (*If it's the first time I've seen you, why would I?) It's my MOM! I came out of her vagina!'

That last line's unique so I had to share. I wonder what past of 'vagina' she thought was going to get her access? Mouthy black girl tryin to intimidate the little white rent-a-cop maybe? Takes waaay more than that to shock me. Or maybe just ignorant indignation at someone trying to do their job and protect her mother? The silliest part is the parting shot was given AFTER her mother finally called and asked she be put on the list (for 3months). Sigh.

I don't like the new guy. Showed up 10min late without his workshirt on. Mosied his stuff into the booth. 'Your'e late' 'I was right on time, just went to the wrong gate.' 'On time is still late, specially when you have to come all the way here. Oh and the SOP says to come Ready for work. Be dressed next time.'

Rawr.

Rape... no longer always forcible!

No really. Here's the link to the bill, with the line in question anchored.

http://www.opencongress.org/bill/112-h3/text?version=ih&nid=t0:ih:42

"‘SEC. 309. TREATMENT OF ABORTIONS RELATED TO RAPE, INCEST, OR PRESERVING THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER.‘The limitations established in sections 301, 302, 303, and 304 shall not apply to an abortion--

‘(1) if the pregnancy occurred because the pregnant female was the subject of an act of forcible rape or, if a minor, an act of incest; or

‘(2) in the case where the pregnant female suffers from a physical disorder, physical injury, or physical illness that would, as certified by a physician, place the pregnant female in danger of death unless an abortion is performed, including a life-endangering physical condition caused by or arising from the pregnancy itself."

Some very dangerous semantics (1) there...

Some are interpreting this bit of wordplay as to exclude: drugged rape, coerced or date rape, statutory rape, or pretty much anything else that isn't 'violent' or leaves self-defense wounds. And if joe-shmo can, some god-damned lawyer will attempt to, and somehow win (blaming it on a failure of the law, not that he's a bloodletting defense attorney.) 

So before I lose you in a rant of definitions and seething, go sign this petition that says this is akin to wandering around asking stupid women to sign a petition banning Women's Suffrage.

CLICK HERE TO PETITION AGAINST LIMITING THE DEFINITION OF RAPE

BTW, 'self-defense wounds' is an actual clinical and law-enforcement term to define a TYPE of wound, because there are varying types of wounds. Unlike RAPE, where 'force' is inherent in the definition and word. NON-consensual. Compelled.

In the medical dictionary, rape is simply defined as:

3 rape definition
Function: n
:  unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent compare sexual assault statutory rape
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2007 Merriam-Webster, Inc. 

That's all the damned clarification you need. Don't tack "forcibly" onto the thing, to imply that a woman, drunk  to the point of unconsciousness by her own volition, who is then used like a warm blow-up doll, is NOT raped because it was not 'forced'. 

Rape has had such a disgustingly mobile definition already that the Legal dictionary's definition has an entire disclaimer about how a married woman CAN be raped!

Main Entry: rape
Function: noun
:  unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception —see also STATUTORY RAPE
NOTE: The common-law crime of rape involved a man having carnal knowledge of a woman not his wife through force and against her will, and required at least slight penetration of the penis into the vagina. While some states maintain essentially this definition of rape, most have broadened its scope esp. in terms of the sex of the persons and the nature of the acts involved. Marital status is usually irrelevant. Moreover, the crime is codified under various names, including first degree sexual assault sexual battery unlawful sexual intercourse , and first degree sexual abuse .
Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc. 

Women (and men, where brave enough to come forward) have a hard enough time CONVINCING their peers and a judge that what was done to them was rape, yet some jackass wants to take an extra qualifier on to make it even harder? "Well, see Sir, when told 'bend over, or I'll gut you' you made the choice to bend over and be anally penetrated, you weren't forced if you made the choice." Sound ridiculous? Somewhere, someone who believes that statement, believes a prostitute can't be raped, due to her profession.

 'Rape' as a word has five definitions in the first entry of Dictionary.com (where it is a noun).

–noun
1. an act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.
2. the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force orduress to have sexual intercourse.
3. statutory rape.
4. an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation;violation: the rape of the countryside.
5. Archaic . the act of seizing and carrying off by force.

It's also a verb:

verb (used with object)
6. to force to have sexual intercourse.
7. to plunder (a place); despoil.
8. to seize, take, or carry off by force.
–verb (used without object)
9. to commit rape.

It's one of the oldest acts known to man, though it's Middle English terminology came so late...

Word Origin & History
rape
late 14c., "seize prey, take by force," from Anglo-Fr. raper,  O.Fr. raper  "to seize, abduct," a legal term, from L. rapere  "seize, carry off by force, abduct" (see rapid). L. rapere  was used for "sexual violation," but only very rarely; the usual L. word being stuprum,  lit. "disgrace." Sense of "sexual violation or ravishing of a woman" first recorded in Eng. as a noun, 1481 (the noun sense of "taking anything -- including a woman -- away by force" is from c.1400). The verb in this sense is from 1577. Rapist  is from 1883.

My letter to 'my representative' read thus:

Um... Limiting the definition of rape is a very dangerous thing. It opens up whole avenues where lawyers can deny a woman the succor of seeing her attacker punished, based on a line in an anti-abortion act. They'll be able to dredge the semantic pool to say that a woman, drugged with GHB, didn't fight back and therefore wasn't forced. A woman, terrified her boyfriend will beat her, submits to sex she doesn't want, crying the whole time, but not fighting back, and that will not be 'rape'. Even a minor, statutorily-raped by a STEPfather in her own bed, does not constitute rape in the lines of this anti-abortion law.  

Think beyond this anti-abortion law, to the repercussions of the language used. This cannot be allowed to pass.

You've been faithful 'til the end. Good job. Your reward is the video of ignorant young women, willingly signing away "Women's Suffrage." Course, in my opinion, if they sign it away, I don't think I want them voting anyway O_o

Another good one.

Poll: I believe I deserve an apology.

So, yesterday my husband was sick. I cleaned up the house a bit, and did some laundry, and was working on homework til he arrived. When he came home, laid down for a nap. When I woke him an hour later, as requested, I heated him a bowl of soup, set out for him his cough drops, Chloroseptic spray, crystal light, and offered to put a show on for him. I set his blanket and pillow on the couch so he could fall back asleep if he wanted. I gave him skritches while he ate and lounged. When he said he was still hungry I went to the kitchen and named off all the things I could make for him. He settled on Rice with tuna and alfredo sauce. So I made him some. Delivered it to him at his computer desk. I offered to make him buttercotch pudding, he declined. I offered him tapioca pudding, and he agreed. I made in in the microwave, instead of the stove, but it still took 12 minutes of babysitting. I was happy to, for my poor sick husband. Shortly after devouring it he wanted to go back to bed. Being 2300, I went ahead and joined him. After he fell asleep, I slipped out, set a "Get Well Soon" card on his keyboard, and went back to bed. We both slept 13 hours (I haven't been feeling that great either).

I got up, plunked down at the computer, and started poking through my emails. When he woke up, he poked his head in the fridge, used the spare bathroom, and while in there called out "Do you remember when we made those chicken sandwiches?"
I tried to recall, but wasn't sure I'd heard him right. "What?" I called back.
He ceased urinating, and asked again "Do you remember when we made those chicken sandwiches?" I wondered if there were some left, and tried to think when we'd made them, to calculate if they'd still be good. He called out "It's a rhetorical question, Janna." Now, the only time I ever heard that term was when I DIDN'T answer a question, and my mother would say "That's not a rhetorical question, Janna", so, rhetorical means I DON'T answer, but, he obviously wanted an answer. I pulled Dictionary.com up on my screen. He came to the living room. "Do you, remember when, we made the chicken sandwiches?" He was obviously frustrated, as I was now too.
"I don't know, a week ago?"
"You're supposed to answer yes," so it's a lead in? How the hell am I supposed to know that? "so I can ask where the chicken breasts are! I thought you had a basic grasp on English."
WHOA.. Hold the fuck on now, I'm angry now. YOU can't get the answer you want, so now I'M stupid? "You know what, how about you go back to bed, and we start this over again." So he stomped off to bed. I'm freaking fuming. "And they're on the top shelf of the fridge! You could have just asked where they were!"
Disinterested in my computer I go to take a shower. Knowing I shouldn't, but angry, I stick my head out and ask his cuddled-in-bed form "Remember all the times you tell me you're not a mind reader?"
He smartly answers "Yep."
I draw out a sarcastic "Yea...." and shower.

A short while after I got out I had to call work for something, and discovered I needed to go in to drop something off. I got ready, and Shane (coming out of the room after hearing where I was going) asked if I'd pick up his paycheck for him. I shrugged compliance. I asked "Why don't you put in a Direct Deposit, so you don't have to go pick it up." Didn't get a reply. Funny, so what that rhetorical, or not.

I printed him the company's DD form while I printed the forms I needed to drop off, and dropped the DD form on his desk. "I don't want them to have DD."
"Then pick up your own paychecks." Nasty, but why do something nice for someone who was unprovokingly nasty to ME? He made a mildly angry noise.

I fumed all the way there. Yet, when I got there, picked up the jerk's check anyway.

I got home, dropped it on his desk, and waited. He mumbled a thanks, but I stood there. He finally looked away from his video game to ask "What?", his brows knitted with impatience.
"I picked up your paycheck, in spite of the attitude and insult you gave me this morning."
He sputtered, almost laughing, "MY attitude?"
"I didn't deserve it. I DO deserve an apology."
"No," still almost laughing, "you don't."
"And I picked up your paycheck too. Maybe I am as stupid as you implied I am."

He really thinks he didn't do anything wrong, and that I am in the wrong.
I think I didn't deserve to be pummeled for not knowing what he was asking, and definitely didn't deserve the insult to my intelligence.

(My intelligence insulted for not knowing the entire or propert definition of the word 'rhetorical' (not /basic/ English, mind you) by the guy who didn't see the chicken breasts, in the store package, on the top shelf, proximal to the door, with HIS head of lettuce on top of it. The same guy, who in three seconds, could have gotten the answer he sought with "Do we have any chicken breasts left?" or "Where are the leftover chicken breasts?")